Alone

As she sits here with her Twitter and Crackspace and music (thankyou gentlemen),as she writes she realizes she seeping back into her non interested in the general public phase. This she agrees is not a bad place to be , but it has had it's times in the past it went terribly south, so to speak. It typically starts off like this.

A. turning phone off
B. painting and writing at the wee hours of the morning
C. pretending she has something else to do than go out with her few friends
D. screams at the sky while she drunkenly stumbles around in the dark
E. goes days without eating or sleeping(which sadly is normal for her)
F .finally goes out on a druken rampage painting buildings or jumping off piers and bridges

This has all been pretty constant in her life but this right now feels like it will be a bad one.She's begging for inspiration to smile. To laugh. Also remembering the failures withthe few men she adored at some point.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if someone could just magically pop up and hold her ,and tell her she's gonna make it and wipe away her tears. Or better yet just glare in her eyes and take a never to be forgotten kiss? Not that she doesn't have options, she could go out with just about anyone she wanted, but here lies the internal problem. She doesn't want them. She often dreams of a man that will one day love her for all the "insane" quotes and songs that spill into her ever movement.

With that thought over, she understands that her spells are brought on by the insaicable need to love.



mem